🎙️ S2 E13: We Let AI Interview Us – It Got Weird

An AI handed us a list of “Ask Me Anything” questions and we made the bold choice to answer them cold. That’s how you end up trying to explain bingo to an alien anthropologist, debating why angling feels like a bizarre human ritual, and wondering which completely normal thing should have gone extinct by now. It’s fast, messy, and very us. 

We bounce from the ridiculous to the oddly revealing: pointless expertise (card making, macramé and all the hobbies people will defend to the death), conspiracy theories invented purely for entertainment, fictional characters who would be unbearable in real life, and the historical eras that live in our heads rent free. Along the way we hit the big British cultural references, the comfort-watch obsessions, and the strange niche knowledge you collect without meaning to. 

Then the chat gets more grounded. We talk neurodivergence, including ADHD and autism, and why open-plan workspaces can feel like sensory torture. We also go seriously into animal welfare, vegan convenience food that still sneaks in eggs and milk, and why breeding brachycephalic dogs and cats to struggle for breath is heartbreaking. If you like a funny podcast that can pivot into real principles without losing pace, this one will land. 

If you enjoy it, follow and subscribe, share it with a friend who loves a chaotic Q&A, and leave us a review. 

PS: It's time gor a human AMA episode! What question would you ask us next?

Transcript

Giggling Start And AI Questions

Asha 0:00

This is Awesomely Off-Topic, where we talk books, brand, business and everything else we're not supposed to say out loud. s

Taz 0:09

And let's dive in. Starting this episode with a bit of a giggling fit because apparently I just tried to say ask me anything and as a thing that sounded like Ask Me Anything. So I said, bottom.

Asha 0:23

So Anunciate Taz, but you got confused with the word and so I said pronunciate. And then I went, you need to remember to pronunciate. And we had a giggling fit.

Taz 0:34

But anyway, here we are.

Asha 0:35

Oh dear.

Speaker 2 0:35

Awesomely off topic.

Asha 0:36

You're still with us. Thank you very much for staying with this madness.

Taz 0:40

We did realise that statistically, you bunch of lovely, lovely people seem to love our Ask Me Anything episodes. Ask me anything. Ask me anything episodes. More than anything else, and we haven't done one for ages. So we thought, let's do that, and then realised that well, we hadn't asked. We asked you to ask us anything. So we've come up with a weird and random idea, and that was we asked AI to come up with a series of random questions for us. Now here's something interesting. At first I went to Claude because I thought Claude's going to come up with something better than Chat GPT. And Claude's questions were boring as batshit. And even when I tried asking Claude to think out of the box a little bit, get a bit edgier, get a bit braver, then Claude started asking us questions that would probably get us landed in jail. So we've gone back to good old Chat GPT, we've spoken to Riley. And Riley has come up with some absolute caucus. Come on then, give them to us, Taz. What we'd love you to do with this one is answer the questions with us. When you're thinking about the questions and how you might answer them, note down some of your answers and please drop us a line. Find us on the Awesomebody Off Topic social channels, or go to the BuzzFeed Awesome Off Topic website and use the contact form there and use the little messaging system there. And tell us what your some of what some of your answers would be. And we might even share some of them because I think that would be brilliant.

Asha 2:08

So good idea. Go on then, Taz. Sock them to us.

Taz 2:11

We're just gonna go straight in there. We've only skipped through the first four or five of these, and then we decided we'd just answer them cold. So the first question. And if I'm being question master, that means you need to answer first, Ash.

Asha 2:22

Oh no. Okay, go on then. Number one.

Aliens Meet Bingo And Angling

Taz 2:25

If an alien anthropologist was studying Earth and had one day with you, what everyday human thing would be hardest to explain? Boop boop boop boop bingo.

Asha 2:40

Bingo! How would you explain bingo to an alien anthropologist? A load of balls, a load of ball, basically, rattling around in a plastic tub with people with these little things that are called, what are they called? Dabbers.

Taz 2:57

My mom calls them dobbers.

Asha 2:58

Dobbers, dabbers, dibbers, I don't know, drobbers, drabbers, whatever it is, and you just shout things like you've missed quite a fundamental point here. What's on the boulder? Numbers. Oh yeah. And you've got to match the numbers to the numbers on a card that you have, and then you use your dibby dobby dabby doobie thing. When you've got a line, you go. No, you don't go that, do you? You don't put a line, you go line, or you go house. Or you go, that was really well described, wasn't it? And that's after lots of sh chocolate today as well. I think they would. I just I could talk about anything really. I think they'd just be struggling, wouldn't they? Whatever it was, to be honest. Yeah. But I think that's probably actually no, because I think we'd we'd commune, we'd connect, because I think originally that's where I come from anyway, somewhere up there. Yeah. Probably. What about you to us?

Taz 3:57

Angling.

Asha 3:59

Angling, okay.

Taz 4:00

Angling. So I can understand fishing if you're gonna get the fish and put the poor little thing out of its misery and eat it, which we don't do because we're vegan. And also we can't fish, but. I've been fishing in my time.

Asha 4:13

Okay. In my old life. Yeah, okay. Before I saw the light. But angling, so you essentially dangle your hook with your bait on it in the water. Yeah. Till some poor, unsuspecting. We have to say that that's something that's not attached to your body.

Taz 4:29

Yeah, you put some you have to tell the alien that you put some kind of tasty morsel on the end of a line.

Asha 4:35

I meant the thing, the actual thing you use. You've got something to use as a fishing lot rather than it being attached to your body or being part of the. I don't understand.

Taz 4:47

I'm going back to my explanatory.

Asha 4:49

Sorry I interrupted you. Carry on. We've lost all that.

Taz 4:52

Some kind of tasty morsel on a sharp hook that's attached to a line, and you fling it out into the water, and some poor, unsuspecting fish is bobbing along.

Asha 5:02

Fish bobbing along.

Taz 5:03

Bobbing along at the bottom of a beautiful bride. Honestly, I've only had a set of Sprite zero today. We're not on anything.

Asha 5:12

I've had chocolate that's a little bit. Oh, it chocolate that's doing it.

Taz 5:15

And then it sees this tasty morsel and thinks, yum yum, there's my dinner, gobbles it up, gets the fit the fish hook stuck in his gob, poor little thing. And then he gets yanked out by some big giant human. Yeah. Who then pulls out the hook, leaving his mouth in tatters. Oh. Goes, look how big this is.

Asha 5:37

But it hasn't got any fishy Savlon or anything to put on it. No. Poses for a picture, probably. And then throws the fish back in. Oh, poor thing. And then it gets a fungus and then it all gets infected.

Taz 5:49

I mean, if you tried to explain that to an alien anthropologist, depending on which planet they'd come from, they'd think we were bloody barbaric.

Asha 5:56

They would, wouldn't they?

Taz 5:57

So yeah. Bingo and Angling. Bingo, Angling. Just to be clear, I'd rather not have fishing where you kill them either. Yeah. I know, but it does seem ridiculous, doesn't it?

Asha 6:10

Yeah.

Taz 6:11

Anyway. Absolutely ridiculous. Okay, so that was question one. Brace yourselves, listeners, brace yourself. It's just the beginning. It's gonna be the craziest episode. I'm exhausted already. Question two. Right,

Pointless Expertise And Craft Hot Takes

Asha 6:22

go on then.

Taz 6:23

You wake up tomorrow and discover you've accidentally become the world expert on something completely pointless. What is it? You're not allowed to say bingo.

Asha 6:35

Macrami.

Taz 6:36

Oh maccrame isn't pointless. I remember making macrame owls .

Asha 6:40

It's funny that it just looks funny when people have these hangy things out. I think they just look like somebody's string vest that's gone a bit wrong. Makrame is quite nice. I remember making Macrame L's when I was a kid. I'm sorry if I offended half our listening population now, it's just like, for goodness sake, so you're an out the world expert on Macrame. I am absolutely yes, I am. And it's no, it's fascinating. Fascinating what you can make. Pointless, useless things that you just have hanging around you like you've forgotten to take down your decorations from 1973. It just feels really it's the cross between really naff Christmas decorations and somebody's old underwear that they've used to boil their Christmas pudding or something.

Taz 7:22

Okay.

Asha 7:23

So that was so so I do apologies, everybody, if there's Macrame people out there, I apologise, but it's just the first thing that came into my head. There's not much else in there, but that was it. So over to you, Taz. What about you?

Taz 7:37

See, I was gonna say geocaching, and then I thought actually, in my nerdier moments, I've could I could probably quite get into that. Could you? Yeah. And then I went, and this is I'm about to say something that so many people will absolutely abhor card making. Oh. So you poddle off into hobbycraft. I think that's better than macrame, no. No, well, hear me out.

Asha 8:00

Okay, sorry.

Taz 8:00

You poddle off into hobbycraft or somewhere similar.

Asha 8:03

Okay, oh good advertising. There you go, sponsorship hobbycraft comes in.

Taz 8:06

No, they're not gonna p they're not gonna want to sponsor us in a minute. Okay, no, they won't.

Asha 8:09

Actually, no, I've already slagged off.

Taz 8:10

Why do you spend hand over fist buying materials to make cards? Which nine times out of ten are things that somebody else has already drawn and designed and had printed and already cut out, so you've just got to glue them onto a piece of cardboard. Right. And maybe you've invested in lots of essentially fancy hole punches.

Asha 8:33

Yeah.

Taz 8:34

And by the time you've stuck lots of other people's designs onto a piece of cardboard and made lots of pretty holes all over it and glued that on as well, as well as then, you know, getting some stickers that say happy birthday in gold embossed foil or something. Right. And put it into the envelope that you've had to pay handover fist for as well. It's cost you a darn sight more than just buying a bloody birthday card.

Asha 9:04

Is it a bit like if you were like if you sorry, is it a bit like if you were doing painting my numbers as opposed to painting something from scratch yourself? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Okay, I quite like painting my numbers. I used to years ago painting by numbers.

Taz 9:17

It's grown-up fuzzy felt.

Asha 9:18

Yeah, fuzzy felt grown-ups.

Taz 9:22

But at least with Macrame, you get to keep it. Yes, but it looks like a combination between but the card. It's like, here's a card, I made it for you. Look how clever I am.

Asha 9:31

Somebody's gonna buy me something Macrami, aren't they? And then get that in a giveaway, aren't I? The second one.

Speaker 2 9:37

They're gonna look at it and go, I wonder how much it cost them to make that. Bloody hell, you could have got one from whatever the card shop, Clinton cards or something by then. And then the day after their birthday is in the bin.

Speaker 3 9:51

That might not be though. People might enjoy it and love it so much that they'll keep it for them.

Speaker 2 9:55

So there you are. If I'm gonna be the world expert on something completely pointless, it would be card making. Dog agrees. And dear listeners, if you enjoy card making, then go for it. Go McRae, go for it. Go McRae. Go for it. If you love doing it, brilliant. But purely on the point of economics, I don't get it.

Speaker 3 10:15

At least you've got a reason for I haven't really ever just. You could have been worse.

Speaker 2 10:21

You could have decided to become a world and world expert on those crochet. You remember those crocheted toilet roll holders that had half a doll sticking out of the top? Yeah, I never became a big thing.

Speaker 3 10:32

Really disturbing.

Speaker 2 10:32

I bet if you went to an off-church face, you'd still find some dear old lady knitting those. You would or crocheting them.

Speaker 3 10:39

I just yeah, I just find it very strange.

Speaker 2 10:41

Anyway.

Speaker 3 10:41

It's a bit like what's the thing when you put them on the on the post boxes and stuff as well. Yarn bombing. That's some of the pointless things. I don't understand it. Why are you doing that? Because it will get soggy in the rain and it'll just get smaller and smaller and shrink until it's like And get grubby. Yeah, I don't understand. Maybe that should be one of the points. Anyway, so right then moving on. So question three. So we've we've basically we've insulted Yarn Bomb as McCramy people. Apart from that, it's great.

Speaker 2 11:09

Now listen, you lovely, lovely listeners. This means the next time we put out a quest for Ask Me Anything questions.

Speaker 3 11:18

Ask me anything.

Speaker 2 11:19

Ask me anything questions. This is your baseline. This is your level to be. So question three. Uh-oh.

Conspiracies And Unbearable Fiction

Speaker 2 11:27

What conspiracy theory would you invent purely for entertainment purposes?

Speaker 3 11:37

Oh goodness me. Well I s I kind of I think I'm thinking, Amelia, I'm drawn to, I don't know why, but Disney, possibly. And I think that actually Mickey Mouse was here before Disney. So therefore he assassinated him because he took his idea. I think it I think it was Mickey's idea right from the start. What if Mickey actually drew Walt? Yes. Yes, I like that. Oh yeah, I like see, think about that. Think about all the different rides it would be, it would be a very different experience, wouldn't it? And I wonder if Minnie would ever have come into being, or that they'd been in a relationship. Perhaps she was having a relationship with Mr. Disney. Mr. Disney, not Donald. He's got he's got a thing for mice. I don't know. Who knows? But stop, I'm gonna be saying.

Speaker 2 12:24

Stop it because you're gonna be going into the realm of the filching. Stop it.

Speaker 3 12:28

Oh we love Disney, we love Disney. We do love Disney. Yeah, we do, okay. So I think Mickey Mouse might have been here before his creator. Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 2 12:36

Okay, right. I'm gonna go.

Speaker 3 12:38

I actually once had a walt on my finger and I called it Disney, didn't I? Do you remember? Yes. Thank you. Anyway.

Speaker 2 12:45

And you were having a go at me for my ask sounding like ass. When you called a wart walt. Yeah. Because of your weird southern accent, where actually wart and walt sound exactly the same.

Speaker 3 12:58

That's an estuary accent, yeah. There's no difference with an R or an L.

Speaker 2 13:04

So my conspiracy theory off the top of my head would be So what if rather than all of the things that we are told create little faults in the earth and result in your voice. Oh dear, result in subsidence. What if actually it's nothing to do with that? It's moles. Giant moles or just normal size moles?

Speaker 3 13:25

But there's so many of them to create that. Yeah. Like the huge holes we found in the dug part yesterday that was worried about falling down.

Speaker 2 13:32

Moles are responsible for crumbling and cracked buildings everywhere. Subsidence. Subsidence. Yeah.

Speaker 3 13:38

Moles. So, you know, all those people that have had their their houses ready to sell and then they've got subsidence. Even the faults in the earth. It's not fair to the poor moles, though. They like moles and they feel so nice. Our dear departed Tilly loved a mole to suck on, didn't she? She loved finding dead moles, yeah.

Speaker 2 13:55

Anyway, anyway. Question four. Yes. Which fictional character would be absolutely unbearable in real life?

Speaker 3 14:04

Oh my weird. Tumbleweed. Actually, I this is I'm gonna say something really controversial because I love the books. Well, actually, I love the first one. The second one was okay, the third one I didn't like so much. I'm gonna say Katniss, Katniss Everdeen, I think, in real life would drive you mad. I think she'd be like permanently in kind of that maiden kind of and I'd end up having huge rows with her, and she'd probably just get me with a bow and arrow and that'd be it, wouldn't it? And I'm so good with the bow and arrow, I can't even let go of the blooming arrow, can I? So she'd just kill me in a second, and I'd just be left there with a you know, or one of those stuck to my forehead like I did with my with my uncle. Or my cousin did that. Stick of the dump. Yeah, stick oh, stick. I used to love stick of the dump.

Speaker 2 14:47

Yeah, but imagine in real life it'd be constantly just hanging around and it'd really stink.

Speaker 3 14:52

Why would he stink? But he might go to the local lake or something and get cleaned. Stick of the dump. Just because it wasn't in the book, it doesn't mean that he didn't. That'd be fair.

Speaker 2 15:03

That'd be unfair of me. Cat weasel. I think cat weasel would smell of we say because he says cat weasel.

Speaker 3 15:14

Catweasel.

Speaker 2 15:15

Apologies again to our younger listeners who are going to be saying who?

Speaker 3 15:18

And actually, people in other countries may not know who Cat Weasel is because that's a very UK thing, isn't it? So who was Cat Weasel? Who is Casel?

Speaker 2 15:25

Oh, I can't explain Cat Weasel.

Speaker 3 15:27

Who was he, is he?

Speaker 2 15:27

Gee, I can't even remember, I just remember what he looked like. He had a great beard, I think.

Speaker 3 15:31

I know he did have a great beard. What about Wurzel Gummage? Yeah, he scares me a bit. I mean, what are the. And Salim was more scary than that. A blusha needed sort of.

Speaker 2 15:38

Yes, but Wurzel Gummage with all the different heads. How on earth would he have a valid passport?

unknown 15:45

Hmm.

Speaker 2 15:48

Other fictional characters that would be. Another fictional character that would be awful in real? Nigel Farage. Oh, he's not fictional, is he? Just appears to be.

Speaker 3 15:57

Oh no.

Speaker 2 15:58

He should be. Anyway. Okay. Right. What would your Roman Empire be if social media didn't keep reminding everyone else about theirs? Now that is based, I believe, on the the the discovery that men in particular think about the Roman Empire a ridiculous amount of times every day, apparently, according to. Really?

Speaker 3 16:20

What would mine be?

Speaker 2 16:21

What would your period of time or place or thing be?

Speaker 3 16:25

Um, I do think a lot about the JFK conspiracy quite a lot. And I also think about the Titanic. I thought you'd say Titanic. Titanic, I do because of all the stories about all the different passengers and depending on where they were on the ship. But it's generally me with disasters, I do get kind of sucked into those quite a bit and learn quite a lot in retain it. But particularly I'd say Titan if I had to choose one, Titanic, I think, just because it's one of those that we can all, you know, we've read so many different well, I've read so many different books, and I inherited all my dad's books on it because he was obsessed with that story as well. So, and of course because all the shipbuilding stuff that turned you know that was all interesting as well. So yeah, I think and I still haven't been to the museum in Belfast, which I'd quite like to go to at some point. Okay. But yeah, what about you?

Speaker 2 17:10

Well, it'd be Bronze Age, but particularly Bronze Age Britain, and and also the same kind of time period there for Ancient Greece. Bronze Age going into early Iron Age, and particularly Britain and UK, but also Greece, Ancient Greece.

Speaker 3 17:26

Okay.

Speaker 2 17:27

That was easy.

Speaker 3 17:27

We're almost quite serious then, weren't we? I know. We didn't laugh, we haven't laughed for at least two minutes.

Speaker 2 17:33

We will now, question six. Oh no. Right. And

Pet Reviews And Niche Museums

Speaker 2 17:36

this is the last one we'd pre-read. After this, we're going completely cold.

Speaker 3 17:39

Well, I don't even remember these from the first time. Go on.

Speaker 2 17:41

If your pets could leave you a trip advisor review, what would the headline be?

Speaker 3 17:48

Take us out for a walk when it rains. We don't mind water.

Speaker 2 17:53

Do not walk enough.

Speaker 3 17:55

What else? Yeah, what else, Glad? Tell me. She's just woken up. Look, she wants to tell you. What about you? What would you say?

Speaker 2 18:02

Oh, well, it'd probably say something about only one of us giving them decent portions of whatever we're eating, and that would be you. Only one of them gives us a lot of things.

Speaker 3 18:11

I don't know what you mean, Taz. I don't know. They just have a little spoonful. Whoops. Hope there's nobody from NPM listening to this. Local bat month. Oh no, oh no. Don't share uh do share it, but don't share it to them.

Speaker 2 18:24

Cats cross when we bark would not recommend. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 18:28

Yeah, okay. I'm stopping now.

Speaker 2 18:31

What if they left us a good trip advisor review though?

Speaker 3 18:34

I would say, they would say they love us so much, they look after us. We give us lots of cuddles. We get a good amount of treats, but not too many. Best cuddles, regular trips to the dog park, lots of fun. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, let's do that. Yeah, we went recognized. I automatically went to the negative bit, didn't we? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 18:57

Right then, and here we're answering cold. Are we ready? Question seven. Go on. You have to open a museum dedicated entirely to one tiny niche subject. What's in it?

Speaker 3 19:07

Oh. Oh, oh. Grasshoppers.

Speaker 2 19:17

What's in it though? Grasshoppers. Just grasshoppers in the museum. Yeah, they're just grasshoppers. Living dead on the money.

Speaker 3 19:23

They're living, not dead. We won't have them living on.

Speaker 2 19:25

Well surely if they're living, that's that falls more on the zoo. This is a museum.

Speaker 3 19:30

Can they not be like kind of could they have some of their ancestral ones that have gone, you know, have gone and died. They could have a little funeral parlour or something for them. And then we could have some some that are alive.

Speaker 1 19:41

Yes.

Speaker 2 19:42

I'm assuming you don't mean paradigm.

Speaker 3 19:44

We're time hopping. Not my grasshoppers. We're telling shut up. No time hopping. So there'd be some that would be obviously you know departed, and then you'd have some. You'd have a little funeral parlour for those, and then you'd have some more that would be living, I think. We'd just be, you know, making their lovely little noise with the back legs.

Speaker 1 20:03

Excellent. The museum could have recordings.

Speaker 3 20:06

Of different types of grasshopper. Yeah. Yeah. And different tones.

Speaker 2 20:10

And somebody could maybe put all the tones together to create the dipples hit or something.

Speaker 3 20:14

Which ones, yeah, which ones jump the highest and the furthest. Yeah, I think I who would like I'd be fascinated by that. I love grasshoppers. I used to always I was a bit naughty when I was a kid because I used to collect them a little bit and put them in a obviously I'd have a little jam jar, but I'd you know put little holes in it so they could breathe and I'd release them back. But I'd study them and pick them out of the alleyway behind my house and then they'd stay with me for a couple of hours and I'd release them. So hopefully they weren't too traumatised. But yeah. Yeah, exactly, Merlin. There you go, Merlin.

Speaker 2 20:45

I think it depends if I was being serious or a little bit. Oh, sorry, you were supposed to be serious now. Oh, I can't. I'd be saying if I either go. I'd either go. Bronze Age spirituality. I'm being serious. Now I feel right. Zina Warrior Princess. Full of geekery and obj d'art.

Speaker 21:03

Ob Jadar.

Speaker 3 21:06

I've heard it some things in my time, but obj d'art. Are you trying to kid? Ob J four.

Speaker 2 21:13

Um Lucy Lawless, if you happen to be listening, you're welcome as a guest anytime, lovely lady. Okay, question eight. What object in your house? That reminds me of the embarrassing moment you had with Hudson Like, who played Callisto, but that's another podcast for another day. Oh no, that was really embarrassing in front of a room full of anyway.

Archaeology Confusion And Reality TV

Speaker 2 21:36

What object in your house would confuse an archaeologist most 500 years from now?

Speaker 3 21:44

I was going to say some coprolite, but I think that wouldn't confuse them because it'd be useful.

Speaker 2 21:48

Well no, because surely they'd just find coprolite everywhere if it's an archaeologist 500 years from now.

Speaker 3 21:52

It would be. Depends whether it'd survive. It probably wouldn't, but one of our little those little squid. Things you got me. What do I mean? What do I mean, squidgy? I mean like little oh we're back to it. It's not quite Macrami. What do I mean? You're little things.

Speaker 1 22:17

I just need to know what the little squidgy things are now. I don't know what I mean.

Speaker 3 22:24

Those little flicky little things. Those flicky frog things that you that you flick. Flicky frog things that you flip. They're not plastic, but they're squidgy, and I feel slightly damp. Those little tiny things you got me. I don't know what you mean. And you can flip them and they stick on to the stick onto windows and stuff, don't they? And then go down the back. The funny chickens that I got for the speaking. No, no, you got me little tiny frogs. Do you not remember those? Well, obviously I remember them.

Speaker 1 22:59

Or maybe you got them from your crickets museum in the shop.

Speaker 3 23:09

Get it right. Branding. No little tiny, you got me little tiny frogs. All different colours. There was a red one, a green one, an orange one. Do you not remember that? Oh, because I used because I was going, oh thanks. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with these, but you obviously don't remember them. No, you definitely got. I'm going to have to find one now and goodness knows where they've gone now, but the cat's probably eating them. But yeah, okay. I reckon.

Speaker 2 23:35

Well because they probably won't biodegrade. Yeah. The solid rubber fish shoes you brought. Another classic present. Asherwombs bought me a pair of. You may have seen them in comedy shops. Asher once bought me a pair of kind of sliders that look like fish. Fish. Like anatomically correct, except for having a foot-shaped hole in them.

Speaker 3 24:00

Yes. I thought they were quite cute.

Speaker 2 24:03

Anyway. Question nine. Yes. You are forced to compete on a reality TV show. Oh no. Which one gives you the highest chance of survival? Wouldn't be the krypton factor.

Speaker 3 24:16

I don't rude. Rude. So rude. So rude. You neither. No. I don't know. I think I'd be crap at all of them. Oh, probably traitors, I wouldn't for a minute, would I? I'd just be absolutely crap, wouldn't I? I don't know though. I could be the silent assassin. Silent assassin. Maybe. Alan Carr was pretty cool, wasn't he? Yeah. I don't know. I think, yeah, trait I wouldn't survive that. I wouldn't survive any of them. And certainly if there's nothing athletic if there's anything athletic I've got to do, forget it.

Speaker 2 24:51

Would you have done alright on the generation game, I think. You mean you would have done alright on it? Whatever the task was having to copy that thing.

Speaker 3 25:03

Yeah, you would have been quite good. I think that'd be useless. But yeah. I think I did actually I might have applied, I think.

Speaker 2 25:09

The generation game, you and your dad. Oh, you'd have been great on that.

Speaker 3 25:12

Yeah, absolutely useless. But that's about what makes good telly. But what about you?

Speaker 2 25:16

What about reality show now? Definitely it wouldn't be the jungle one because I object to the animal cruelty. Yeah. Oh, crikey, I don't know. You mean I I'd love to say something like one of those really athletic challenge games, but there's no way on earth I'd just collapse having an asthma attack, but I haven't I have aspirations for those kinds of things.

Speaker 3 25:35

What's it muddy thing, didn't you?

Speaker 2 25:36

I did 5k tough water, that's not quite the same as a big one, but yeah. And I had to walk starts. I had to walk between the between the challenges because I was too out of breath. Oh, I don't know what it would be. What was the thing that used to when they used to have the the big inflatables and things?

Speaker 3 25:54

It's a knockout. It's a knockout. Oh yeah, you would have been good at that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a knockout, definitely. There's always lots of water involved, wasn't there? Yeah. There's always lots of water, yeah. Gotta remember that long time. That would have been fun. Yeah.

Speaker 2 26:05

Right, question 10.

Speaker 3 26:07

Are we nearly is it nearly done yet? I don't know.

Speaker 2 26:09

I don't know how long this rolling lasts for. Question 10. What would be the worst possible superpower to discover you have halfway through a supermarket shop?

unknown 26:22

What? Random.

Speaker 2 26:23

What would be the worst possible superpower to discover you have halfway through a supermarket shop?

Speaker 3 26:29

I would imagine knowing my track record, it would be something like Crusher. You know, somebody like like the Bionic Woman where she could crush tennis balls with a. Super strength. Yeah, super strength. Because what would happen is I'd go and test like the I don't know, the peaches or something, and I'd just end up squashing absolutely everything, wouldn't I? I think I'd do that, or I'd pick up what I thought was one tin of beans and it'd be the whole display with it going everywhere. I'd do something like that, I think. Because I know I've got I've got a bit of a track record, you know, with those little things that you get, the what are they called, those things that you squeezy things for kids. I'm about to get squeezed things again, hang up right now. Apparently, but squeezy things for kids. But I broke it, didn't I? You could do all like stress ball things. Yeah, stress ball for things. Yeah, but I've broken so many of those. I burst them. So can you imagine me in a in a supermarket if I had that sort of thing, I'd just go in and absolutely wreck the whole store, wouldn't I? Not on purpose, not through, you know, anger or anything. I'd just be curious, testing my supermarket wares, my you know, what I wanted to buy, and I'd end up with a devastation. It would be like, you know, flattened everything, wouldn't it, really?

Speaker 2 27:32

I'd imagine you'd have something more like super farts, and then you'd just blast off in the middle of the frozen veg and go straight through the ceiling. That'd be quite cool, actually, wouldn't it? Thanks, nice. I think the worst possible superpower to discover halfway through a supermarket shop would actually be something like like mind-reading, but with no shut-off. At first it'd be quite funny. Oh, and then it'd be unbearable. The thoughts people have going through a supermarket. Oh though, wouldn't it be fascinating to begin with? It would be f anthropologically fascinating for the first like 60 seconds, and then it'd be massively overwhelming. Yeah, you'd end up going completely random twist, wouldn't you? It's a buffy episode like that, wouldn't I?

Speaker 3 28:14

I wonder what it would be. What are those first thoughts when people go into the supermarket? Well, they're random. It's usually for me, it's like I really need a wee. Where's the toilet? That's normally what I say. And they always now started either certain supermarkets. You feed that cat today. Merlin for the same today, it's just getting quite close to the second feed of the day. That's what it's. Merlin, did you want to be on the podcast, Dude? Yeah, exactly. So the trouble is with supermarkets, you're either you get some supermarket supermarkets, will have them right by the entrance, won't they, to the left of where you go in, and others will be right at the back. Yeah. Or right to the side. And you if you need to go, you have to do the wee-wee walk of shame through the store.

Speaker 2 28:54

Or you have th there are some, like that terrible experience you had once where you went and asked where the loo was, and they were closed because the cafe was closed.

Speaker 3 29:01

I know, I think I talked about that on an earlier podcast. Yeah. But basically I ended up having to they uh didn't they escorted me to the staff ones, which were miles away.

Speaker 2 29:09

But only after they'd argued with you. Yeah. You had to pull out the MS card.

Speaker 3 29:12

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. That doesn't mean I've actually got a card with it that says MS on it, but it's a couple of random scrabble letters in the blue. I'm a Ms. Anyway, go on. So next one.

Speaker 2 29:23

Question

TikTok History And Ridiculous Hills

Speaker 2 29:24

eleven. If your life had a completely unnecessary director's commentary track, what would it be constantly pointing out?

Speaker 3 29:35

Toilets, farts, dogs and cats, any animals. It would be football.

Speaker 2 29:48

And probably be pointing out all the different stims that I don't even realise I have.

Speaker 3 29:52

Yeah. Yeah. All sorts of yeah. Yeah. Stims, lots of stims. Food for me, food, and then that goes because food's a stim for me without a doubt.

Speaker 2 30:01

Oh, oh, look, and she's secretly reading fanfic again.

Speaker 3 30:05

This season, she's shipping. And mine would be, and look at this, she's now watched that lioness girl from the 73rd angle 300 times today.

Speaker 2 30:15

Yeah.

Speaker 3 30:16

Exactly.

Speaker 2 30:18

Okay, question 12. Which historical figure would absolutely thrive on TikTok? Oh, which historical figure?

Speaker 3 30:29

Yeah, no, can you hear the cogs wear?

Speaker 2 30:31

Hitler would probably do pretty well, but that doesn't even bear thinking about.

Speaker 3 30:34

No.

Speaker 2 30:34

It'd probably be better on Truth Social. God.

Speaker 3 30:37

I don't know. Who would be on who would it be? Who would it be? I think Elizabeth I would be pretty good on that. Some of you know famous speeches over the year. I think she would have been quite good. She would have looked quite striking as well, wouldn't she? She would have had the look, you know, the old frills and everything, and the collar and everything else, and the and the very white, kind of, you know, with the all the face and stuff. Charles Manson. See, I'm thinking about people that like inspirational and you're coming up with.

Speaker 2 31:08

I'm thinking about people who already managed to gather quite quite a cool following in their day. Yeah. So Charles Manson would probably do frighteningly well on the book. Guy Fawkes. Might be Falks. Oh, the really charming serial killer. Nice. The one who defended himself. Pretty boy.

Speaker 3 31:27

Ed no, not Ed Gain.

Speaker 2 31:28

No, not Ed Geen. No.

Speaker 3 31:32

There was a film about him not long back. He def he defended himself. Oh! From the 70s! Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Who yes, yes, I know. I can yes, yes, we watched it. Yeah, Gladys is agreeing. It'll come to us in the middle. Anyway, yeah.

Speaker 2 31:47

He'd be frighteningly good on social media. But in terms of positive figures, Elvis should probably do quite well, I should think, in his heyday.

Speaker 3 31:54

Definitely.

Speaker 2 31:56

Yeah.

Speaker 3 31:57

What do you think about it? What do you think, listeners? Who would you think of? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 32:02

Boudicca, Incite the Rebellion.

Speaker 3 32:04

Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 32:07

Yeah.

Speaker 2 32:09

Anyway, okay. What is the most ridiculous hill you're willing to die on?

Speaker 3 32:16

Macrami Hill. How do I think it is that? The j the journalism thing. It's got a just that journalism in the days when I was trained as a journalist was not about opinion unless it was an opinion piece, which were few and far between in printed media. You're not a journalist to have an opinion unless it's an opinion piece. Otherwise, you're there just to report the facts and show it from all angles to give everybody the right to reply and the right to put their own case. Ted Bundy. Thank you very much. Sorry, carry on. Okay, Ted Bundy. Yeah, no, thank you. Even Ted Bundy. There you go. But that's for me, that's what I've done because I think journalism has gone down the pan in so many ways because for me, journalists should not be there to have an opinion, and there's so many awful things going on in the world right now, and so many ininverted commerce journalists that have an opinion on that, but are using their platforms to show just one side of that story.

Speaker 2 33:17

Is that a ridiculous hill though? I think that's quite a serious, strong, good hill. I'd die with the. So I didn't hear the ridiculous bill. What's the most ridiculous hill you're willing to say?

Speaker 3 33:26

Okay, ridiculous hill. Yeah. Oh. I don't know. I was being quite serious. I was in my serious mode then. What's a ridiculous hill? I don't know.

Speaker 2 33:39

Oh, that corn, if it's going to make stuff that's suitable for non-meat eaters, just stop putting eggs in things and make everything vegan. I'm sick of going through that particular aisle in the supermarket thinking, oh good, there's some corn, or oh good, there's some Linda McCartney, and then checking it and recognising it's actually vegetarian. It's got bloody milk or eggs or cheese in it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 34:01

We've gone back with your vegan stuff, haven't we? We really have really have to go, haven't we? We really have gone, haven't we? Gone.

Speaker 2 34:07

Anyway, what's the most ridiculous hill you're willing to die on?

Speaker 3 34:12

I don't know, I can't think of anything. My brain's gone a bit.

Speaker 2 34:15

Pepsi tastes better than Coca-Cola. Okay.

Speaker 3 34:18

I could die on quite a few ridiculous hills, I think. Yeah, I think you could. You carry on then. Go on. Yeah. I'm still left in that other bit. I'm still thinking about that. Go on. I'm very serious for a minute. It won't don't worry, everybody.

Speaker 2 34:29

One is on Xena over Chuck over Chuck Norris.

Speaker 3 34:32

Oh, I know the one I'll okay. Here's one con controversy coming up now. If you're a TV fan in the UK, we should have got rid of casualty and kept Hobie City. Oh yes. Such better, better drama than casualty.

Speaker 2 34:49

Also, it should be more commonly known that The Lion King was actually a ripoff of a much earlier manga film called Kimba the White Lion. I used to watch over and over when I was a kid. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. Go research it if you didn't know that. Right.

Animal Ethics And Villain Origin Stories

Speaker 2 35:07

If you could legally replace one animal, one animal? One animal? Like a mark amel. If you could legally replace one animal with another animal of the same approximate size, what would improve society most? Oh my goodness me. My goodness, if you could legally replace one animal with another animal with the same approximate size, what would improve society most? Oh well.

Speaker 3 35:43

Ah. Well these are hard questions now, Taz is getting far too serious. What would it be?

Speaker 2 35:48

I would replace badgers with Tasmanian devils so they'd fight back at the farmers.

Speaker 3 35:54

Oh, controversy again, more controversy. I wouldn't want the Tasmanian devils to find it. Why would you say that? Just for people that might not be aware of why you might say that. I was editor of a series of list.

Speaker 2 36:04

No, I was an editor of a series of veterinary publications when all the scientific studies were being done and read the Krebs report way too many times and recognised that badgers are probably not the problem. They've been a massive scapegoat all the way through before anything. Try raising the feeding drops. But yeah, there's there's no really solid hard evidence to blame badgers. And there were also some comments from people in the note in politics who were admitting that essentially they had sacrificed badgers in order to get the farmers' vote and to keep them quiet and happy. So um yeah, that's why.

Speaker 3 36:43

So in that case, then could I say brachiocephalic breeds of dog and cats, dogs and cats to be replaced with animals that are able to actually breathe easily and not struggle all their lives. Yeah. And also where we've bred and bred and bred with certain breeds where they become, you know, really difficult just to do the base, get through the basics of living. Yeah.

Speaker 2 37:07

I think that's what's a really good serious point, actually.

Speaker 3 37:10

Yeah, I just it's it makes me want to weep. And of course, we know there are many in rescue, and if they're in rescue, then I'd be there to offer a forever home for one, but I would never buy a breed that is brachiocephalic because I know from working with veterinary teams just how much those animals go through just to be here day to day and to live and get get through it rather than enjoy life. So yeah, there you go.

Speaker 2 37:34

Whereas I'm now thinking, what's more vicious but about the size of a mouse that we could flood into the houses of parliament? And then I was thinking, could we just put cordyceps virus in parliament? And I thought, no, because most of them speak like they've been taken over by cordyceps anyway. Anyway, um not counting the greens and some of the Lib Dams and some of the Labour people, obviously. Any lovely lafties, you're welcome. If okay, question 15. What job would you be brilliant at but hate every second of? Yes, darling.

Speaker 1 38:11

Feeding the cat.

Speaker 3 38:13

What would I be brilliant at? I think I'd be really good at being one of those people that are there to kind of reassure people. So welcoming people to somewhere like a store or something, but I'd be absolutely crap because if I was having a really bad day and I was missing a lot of people.

Speaker 2 38:29

Which is what you would be brilliant at, but hate every second of.

Speaker 3 38:34

Oh, actually, that's true then. I think I'd be pretty good at welcoming people to something, like you know, like front of store or something like that that was customer facing, but I'd absolutely hate it because I know that sooner or later somebody would get right on my nerves and I couldn't say anything. I'd just have to plaster on the smile and make out I was brilliant. I can't do that very well. My face tells ever tells every emotion on my face. I can't hide it, and I think I'd be rubbish. Does that answer it? Yeah, I think so. I don't know how I'd answer that.

Speaker 2 39:02

Ooh, he stumped his ass. Probably something to do with being some kind of fixer who goes into places and spots what the problem is. Yeah. But I'd hate it because I'd hate having to upset the apple cart so regularly. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, right. Which mythical creature would become immediately boring if it were proven real tomorrow. It's a lot less monster.

Speaker 3 39:31

Why would it be boring if it was proven tomorrow? I think because they they'd just be another thing that lives under the s under the sea, under the water, and we'd there'd be a there'd be a limited amount of people that would be that interesting. It once the the all the asthmataz had died down about it, then it'd just be another thing that they'd find something that was either wrong with it or it was overpopulated or it wasn't there'd be something, somebody somewhere would be trying to get rid of it so they could make room to drill or whatever they wanted to do and just get in the way. Oh, I'm so cynical. Interesting. Yes. Uh it'd be a flash in the pan for a while and it would just go. It'd just be it'd be in the way. Somebody'd find a way to get rid of it or want to get rid of it. We don't value our beautiful wildlife in the way that we should.

Speaker 2 40:21

I don't know what to say to that. Whether it would be something like it was gonna say unicorns, but no, because their magical properties would always be. Actually, imagine that. If unicorns were suddenly found to not be mythical.

Speaker 3 40:35

Yeah.

Speaker 2 40:36

Bearing in mind their magical powers of being able to put to to know who was telling the truth and who was pure apart and who wasn't, they would be hunted to extinction within.

Speaker 3 40:45

They wouldn't live, would they, for no time at all. We discovered them.

Speaker 2 40:50

Probably something like a jack-alope. Jack ope, yeah. Yeah. What's the jackalope? Yeah, well, they do the faux kind of jackrabbits with with antlers on. Yeah. At first it'd be like, oh the oh, ooh, but then you know, wouldn't really do much except being a lagomolph type thing with antlers, would it? No, they're jackalope. But they would become boring.

Speaker 3 41:18

I'm not being. You're jackalopist.

Speaker 1 41:21

Well, hold on, what did you say?

Speaker 3 41:23

I know, I know, I'm just um playing Gebel's advocate. Go on.

unknown 41:27

Carry.

Speaker 2 41:28

17. Okay. What is the strangest thing you've accidentally become knowledgeable about? I think I'm still searching for that. The strangest thing. Reclining sofa mechanisms for me.

Speaker 3 41:40

Oh, for you, yes. Of course. God, you got trapped. You've been trapped in those a few times, haven't you? You've had some near misses with the case.

Speaker 2 41:45

Well, I know it makes a reclining sofa in all the different lengths of the cable.

Speaker 3 41:50

And you also know how to escape from one when it collapses on you. Oh no, I got it was an ironing board I got trapped in.

Speaker 2 41:56

Oh, but you got trapped in this as well, didn't you? Yeah, I got trapped down the back of it.

Speaker 3 41:59

You got trapped down the back of the reclining sofa.

Speaker 2 42:01

I did, but I couldn't get out on my own. I needed your help. So come on, what's the strangest thing you've accidentally become accidentally become knowledgeable about?

Speaker 3 42:14

Um well I have to say I must confess on TikTok I've got I've been I've been really fascinated by some of the people I've been following on TikTok with um with morticians and things. I've learned quite a lot about the whole embalming process, which is interesting. So um we're worried. Well, I I thought I ought to do that in case you got stuck in the deserved my skin.

Speaker 2 42:36

There's a lot of ink and money gone into that.

Speaker 3 42:38

There's lots of things around that I've learnt about that, which has been fascinating and different ways of you know. So, for instance, this water cremation, you know, using water cremation. Yeah, I've learnt quite a bit about that as well. It's fascinating. Okay, okay, so nice and jolly. So tells if you do get stuck in there, don't worry, I'll just get a hose on you and it'll be fine.

Speaker 2 42:57

Question 18. Yes. What would your villain origin story actually be? Not a dramatic one, the real one. Oh. So what's the story that could have turned you into a villain?

Speaker 3 43:11

Oh, goodness me. What do you think? Go on, you answer that for me and I'll answer that for you. How about we do that? What do you think it would be?

Speaker 2 43:18

I think your villain origin story would come out of you trusting certain people you were very, very close to to have your back and support you, only to have them turn against you and say that you were wrong for being gay. That could quite easily have turned you into a villain.

Speaker 3 43:39

Snap, I think the same for you. Thanks very much. It's just while I put it. Oh, that's cheating. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Seriously, that would apply to you too. It would. Yeah. It would. Yeah, I think that would be cool.

Speaker 2 43:51

Right, we should become supervillains. I think we should. Okay. Watch this space lifters. Question 19 If your brain. Had achievement badges like a video game. Which one are you most embarrassed to have unlocked? Oh no. Oh no, it was so. If your brain had achievement badges like a video game, which one are you most embarrassed to have unlocked?

Speaker 3 44:18

Crumbs, I don't know. I don't know. I really don't. There's so many embarrassing things. I don't I think I'd have just I wouldn't have enough room on my body to have all the pin badges for it. I wouldn't I'd just be like, I'd be a sprinkler.

Speaker 2 44:32

Which one is your most embarrassing brain achievement badge?

Speaker 3 44:37

I keep my poo in my pocket.

Speaker 2 44:40

But that's not a brain achievement badge.

Speaker 3 44:42

Well it is. I had to use my brains to get me out of that situation, didn't I?

Speaker 2 44:47

Learning how to spell the word Mississippi purely from the movie Annie, the first one.

Speaker 1 44:53

M-I, double S I, double S I, double P I.

Speaker 3 44:56

Okay. Yours is much better than mine. You throw me now.

Speaker 2 45:02

I think my brain is memorising the number plate of the Lotus that got trashed in Basic Instinct.

Speaker 3 45:09

Oh my goodness. Really?

Speaker 2 45:11

Two got two one four. Yes. Okay.

Speaker 3 45:15

This is definitely your question, this one.

Speaker 2 45:17

Alright, question 20. This is the last official question. Okay. But then they've added on a few more that they say are particularly used. How are we doing for time?

Speaker 3 45:25

43 minutes, but I didn't start it till about two minutes later.

Speaker 2 45:28

Right. What completely normal thing feels like it should have gone extinct by now? Reform.

Speaker 3 45:37

I was gonna say my toes.

Speaker 2 45:38

I'm not sure that's normal.

Speaker 3 45:39

I was gonna say my toes. I don't know. Your toenails are not normal. You got there before me. That should have been gone extinct by now. Oh my goodness me.

Speaker 2 45:53

See, trouble is all the things I think should have gone extinct by now aren't actually normal. So homophobia, transphobia, racism, all of the isms and the obias.

Speaker 3 46:03

The obias. Isms and obias. All of them. Yeah.

Speaker 2 46:09

Disbelief in neurodivergence, people who believe doesn't know this thing as ADHD for existence. Yeah, I'll go with that. Waiting list lists for ADHD and autism assessments. Having to pray pay privately for those. Politicians complaining that neurodivergent, particularly women, are are just ripping off the system. The whole narrative around six fluences. You know, I think if you actually look at the stats in this country and the way that things work, we've probably got just as much of an issue with presenteism as we do absenteeism. So I think all of that, all of the ignorance that is peddled for no reason other to than to make people other and to make the people they are othering feel as though they have no right to be on this earth. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that would be my othering.

Speaker 3 47:12

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 47:13

They should be that should have gone extinct by now.

Speaker 3 47:16

I agree, totally. Well said, madam. Well said. I'll leave you to answer that one. You answered it so well. Have we thought of going into politics, Daz?

Speaker 2 47:24

No, I've been asked a break a few times, but no. Poison chalice, thank you very much. You can keep that. Right, so it's come up with some bonus questions that that RAI that rival. You were done then. So did I. Feel are particularly Tazan Asher. Shall we go for them? Go on then, go on then. Hang on, I'm straight in me creaky.

Bonus Chaos And Proper Farewell

Speaker 2 47:42

Question 21. You can spend one evening having dinner with any three people from history, but they have to be people who absolutely hate each other. Who's coming? Oh no!

Speaker 3 47:53

Three people who hate each other. Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna go back to so one would be Marilyn Monroe. Yeah. The other one would be JFK. Yeah. Do they hate each other? Well, they had that thing, didn't they? Well then she was was she bumped off or not?

Speaker 2 48:12

Oh, you could actually have both of the candidates.

Speaker 3 48:14

Well yeah, well yeah. And who else? Who else? Who would be the third one?

Speaker 1 48:23

Who would it be?

Speaker 2 48:28

Only three people from history who hate each other.

Speaker 3 48:33

So there's gotta be three. I was gonna say, so they've got to be all connected now. So I'm Well I don't know. I suppose they're the ones who who would have hated each other if you think about the thing. Well I'm thinking I'm in 60s now. I mean I know I was born in 60s, but only the la the last couple of years, not 1968, so only the end of the 60s, really. Just to clarify for people, I'm I know I'm old, but I'm not that old. So who would be my third guest? Who do we think? Here's a question for I'm gonna put this out to the audience. Who do you think would have been the third guest? We've got JFK, we've got Marilyn Munro, who would be the third guest? Let me know. Answers on a postcard. What do you think?

Speaker 2 49:10

What about Bert Davis?

Speaker 3 49:13

Yeah.

Speaker 2 49:15

Oh, Brain's gone dead. Who? When she had the the the famous fear with Betty Davis and who's the other one? Oh Joan Crawford. Joan Crawford? Was that Joan Crawford it was, wasn't it? Betty Davis, Joan Crawford. And pick any director that would have been between the two of them.

Speaker 3 49:35

I would have said like Liz Taylor and maybe uh two exes.

Speaker 2 49:39

So Oh yeah. Yeah. Eddie Fisher. Eddie Fisher, Richard Burton and Liz Taylor. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 49:47

Harvey Milk and people that were further right that maybe. I don't know. Oh interesting.

Speaker 2 50:00

Who would you have to do? Elf and Paul. Yeah, bring it back. Okay. That's a hard one. How would you answer that, listeners? Okay, question 22. You're allowed to create one new national holiday. What are we celebrating and how?

Speaker 3 50:26

She's suckling a yeah, let's not go. Yeah, she's having a clean, I think. Yeah. The polite way to say it. One new national holiday.

Speaker 2 50:33

What are we celebrating on now? I don't know. Might be a buffy day celebrating celebrating the collapse of the Hellmail.

Speaker 3 50:48

Hellmail Freedom Day. Oh my goodness. Honestly. I think. So we did bring it back and we got rid of casualty. What would your day be called? It would be it would be celebrating Holy Hooray for Holby City! Hurrah! Hurrah! Or no, I know what we'd have. We'd have a musical, we'd have like I Love Musicals Day. And we'd all have to sing any conversation we have with anybody, we'd have to sing them.

Speaker 2 51:19

Which brings you to back to Buffy the Vampires though. There was a brilliant once more with feeling episode.

Speaker 3 51:24

I'd have a I'd have I Love Musicals Day. We'd have a musical day, and everybody'd only be able to communicate by singing, and they'd have to make it up as they went along.

Speaker 2 51:32

Can we have a Team Human Day that's the end to all right-wing bullshit? That's a good idea too. That in a more serious. What about an animal liberation day where animals are no longer put out murder agrees? What about uh blood Beagle Amnesty Day where they're no longer using dogs for animal testing?

Speaker 3 51:52

That'd be cool.

Speaker 2 51:53

An animal freedom day where they're no longer using animals for testing full stop.

Speaker 3 51:57

Yeah. Yes, Merlin, you agree.

Speaker 2 52:00

He does agree. Well done, Merles. Question 23.

Speaker 52:04

Okay.

Speaker 2 52:04

We really answered that many. I wonder my brain feels fried. Which ancient civilization would be most disappointed in what we've done with the future? Over to you. Greece? Greek civilization? Well, it depends which period in in Greek civilization, because if we go back to the period I'm fascinated with, it was unfortunately horribly patriarchal. Yeah. But you know, then you do have people like Hypatia. So she was put to death horribly.

Speaker 3 52:34

Well we watched a film about her, didn't we? We did this last this weekend. We did. With Rachel Vice. Yeah, Rachel Vice.

Speaker 2 52:41

Yeah, good movie if you get a chance to watch it. Which ancient civilization would be most disappointed in what we've done today? Can I kinda can I say the Amazons? Yeah, why not? Because I know there's there's you know whether they were mythological or not, but they'd be disappointed. Definitely. Yeah, the Amazons. What are you gonna go for? I was gonna say Boudicca's lot. Oh yeah, definitely.

Speaker 3 53:02

Because, you know, we how different we would have been if we hadn't if we hadn't lost to the Romans, what would our lives have been like? What would our history have been like? Yeah. Fascinating.

Speaker 2 53:13

And why when they crushed us, so we're still being taught how wonderful the Romans were in school. Anyway. You've been appointed supreme curator of weirdness. I think I've I've thought to myself immediately becomes mandatory. Oh what would it be?

Speaker 3 53:36

What would it be mandatory? What would it be for you? What have you got in your little brain? What would it be that was mandatory? Singing out loud while doing your shopping. I think if somebody was miserable without getting charged with anything, I'd have to tickle them until they laughed.

Speaker 2 53:55

Yeah, but tickling can also be torturous. It's not actually enjoyable, is it?

Speaker 3 53:59

Oh no, that's true. I suppose not. No, it depends what you tickle them. Tell them to until they Yeah, well yeah, laughter. They've gotta laugh. You've gotta you've gotta create laughter every day. Okay.

Speaker 2 54:10

25. You must live inside one fictional universe forever. Oh you don't get to be the hero. Where are you going?

Speaker 3 54:21

Oh no, you don't get to be the hero. I'd have to be closely associated to the hero then. And be on their side, I think. Where would I be? I would say I'd be again, I'm going back to Robin Hood again, but I'd be with Robin, but then I've never climbed a tree, so I don't think I'd come very well. And I'm not very good with a bow with my road. So I think I'm a bit be a bit buggered, really. Sorry, oh that's so rude. I mean a bit, you know, out of sorts. I'm not sure where I'd go. If I didn't go there, where would I go? Oh, it'd be somewhere space agey. It'd be somewhere like um, I don't know, stu on the Star Trek Enterprise or something. Hopefully I don't get motion sickness.

Speaker 2 55:07

But I'll go there. Yeah, I'd rather be on Voyager, but yeah.

Speaker 3 55:10

Yeah, I think I'd be there in the stars, travelling around, visiting different planets, meeting lots of people with great prosthetics. Yeah, I think I'd do that. Warp speed. And actually, what I love the idea of where was it? Which one was that? Where you could just order whatever food you wanted. It just appeared, didn't you?

Speaker 2 55:30

Yeah, replicate. Only if you had enough replicator tokens.

Speaker 3 55:33

Oh, I'd have loads. I'd be there. Would it be like a little instead of doing the penny falls, you'd have the replicator falls. Make it get your little coins and then you could you could order whatever you wanted. Oh, hello Gladys. Oh, she's just gonna squash my microphone.

Speaker 2 55:46

Although I don't know it inside and out, I've never watched I've never read any of the books. Because of what it is and what it represents, I reckon the Percy Jackson universe would be quite good for you. Yeah. Come on then, Gladys, you're gonna lie down. There you go. Don't go on your microphone, love. Gladys, for those listening, the larger than life golden doodle is now behaving like a tiny little lap dog on top of Asher. Yeah, she is, and she's just about to smother my microphone.

Speaker 3 56:11

I'm in my microphone. Wait, my microphone. I've lost the time. We're nearly there. Come on, we're nearly there. Okay, I think everybody's gone home for tea or something. Now come on, right.

Speaker 2 56:23

What would your store sell if you had to run a market store using only things that genuinely represent your personality?

Speaker 3 56:34

Lots of pockets. You sell pockets. Think about it. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 56:40

Which were waterproof pockets. Oh my goodness. Mine would sell oh socks. I like socks. Oh yeah, socks, novelty socks, funky socks, yeah. Mine would probably be socks, superhero pants, yeah, socks, and or fantastical novels.

Speaker 3 56:59

Yeah. I quite like ties as well.

Speaker 2 57:01

Yeah, I've got a lot of ties. I like ties. Question 27, and this one is actually an Asher centric question. Is it? Good on there. Asher gets to redesign one thing about modern society. Taz gets to redesign one different thing. What are they?

Speaker 3 57:20

Redesign. Redesign one thing about modern society. Oh, I'm gonna say it's like, you know, with these I think it's all the sort of open working spaces now. When you go into corporate places where everything's available, you know, available for you. You've got a little work, you've got workstations, then you've got drinking stations, food stations, whatever. But it's all open plan, and everybody can see everybody else, and it feels a bit like a big goldfish bowl. And my kind of ADHD brain really struggles, autistic brain struggles with that a bit. You feel like you're being watched from every angle. So I think I'd get rid of that. I'd change that and give people a little bit more. Can I redesign the entire taxation system? Oh, that'd be cool. Yeah, at least yours is kind of useful.

Speaker 2 58:02

Gladys, could you I've got a Gladys is now reclining across Asher's lap. Right, we're nearly there, we're nearly there. Which two completely unrelated fandoms should be forced to share a convention for a weekend? Zina and Buffy. Your turn. Hobby 16 casualty. Oh my goodness. Question 29. If your relationship had a warning label, what would it say? Oh dear. Yes, Merlin. What would it be?

Speaker 3 58:38

Beware spontaneous outbursts of weirdness. I don't know about spontaneous. I think it's just always spontaneous. I think it's just weird all the way through. I don't think there's outbursts of warning. Yeah, warning, weirdness. Just weirdness, warning, weirdness, I think.

Speaker 2 58:54

Or at the other end of the spectrum, warning will attempt to coach you out of every problem you have. Yeah, that's definitely you. Warning will make your life better. Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 3 59:04

Yeah, exactly, Mel. We've got one more question, Merlin. And the last question. Go on, thank goodness for that. I'm actually exhausted. I don't think if you're still with us now, I really thank you for listening. Totally. You deserve a medal. My brain is just like I know. Go on. Right. What question are you? You're only doing half a dozen of these tests.

Speaker 2 59:24

I know. I asked him for ten I asked him for ten to fifteen, and we've got thirty. But you didn't have to do the whole month. I started, so I'll finish. I know younger listeners won't get that either. Okay. Who was that? Was that Bambergascoin? Or was it no, that was I'll finish. Or was it Mastermind? It's Mastermind.

Speaker 3 59:43

Mastermind, wasn't it? Yeah, um Magnus Magnuson. Magnus Magnuson. Question 30. Yeah, my name is all the little page and stuff. I never got it.

Speaker 2 59:55

Right. Okay. What question are you amazed nobody has ever asked you in an interview, podcast, or on stage? Are you actually from this planet?

Speaker 3 1:00:09

Would you answer it? No, I'm not. I'm off the planet. Oh, I don't know what there's no. I'm on task. We can't stop me on the last. What? Is that the last one?

Speaker 2 1:00:26

Probably tell me more about how your deep spirituality applies to your business. Because it does, and I talk about it and write about it a lot, but I don't think I've actually been asked that in an interview. Yet. And now you have them all queuing up to ask you that very question. Riley has said that last one might be absolute gold because it could generate ten more episodes on its own. Okay, so I think we should call it there.

Speaker 3 1:00:52

Hang on, I can tell you how long we've been rabbiting on for. Where's my oh my my thing?

Speaker 2 1:00:56

59 minutes.

Speaker 3 1:00:57

No, but it's longer than that, so we've gone over the hour and if you're still with us, Taz. Thank you. If you are still with us, well done. Exactly. Now go go and lie in a darkened room and just chill out for a while.

Speaker 2 1:01:08

If you don't want to go through AI asking us questions, bless you, Gladys. If you don't want to go through AI asking us questions today again, may I recommend that you start bombarding us with some questions of your own? Let's have a proper Ask Me Anything episode sometime soon. And let's hear them. Throw us your questions and we'll bring them into an upload. Please do.

Speaker 3 1:01:27

And in the meantime, I'm going to go and feed the cat now because he's letting me know it is tea time now. It is officially tea time.

Speaker 2 1:01:32

And until then, we will see you next Tuesday. You've been listening to Awesomely -Off Topic. If you've enjoyed this, hit follow and subscribe. And if you want more, come and find Awesomely Off -Topic on social media. That's where all the extra bits live .